Today, January 24, is a great day because it’s my mother’s birthday. Because Covid has kept us apart for nearly two years and has only enabled sparse visitations, I thought it would be nice to write my Mom an open letter. This letter is from my 10-year-old self with the viewpoint from the 50-year-old version of me.
Dear Mom,
I’m writing you this letter to celebrate you on your birthday. I don’t have any fancy gift or money I can give you but what I can give is my love and promise to try my best not to hurt you. I know there have been times I haven’t been easy to deal with, but I’m sorry if I ever made you angry or cry.
Like the times I made myself have an asthma attack just to get out of something. Yes, that was pretty cruel and not really well thought out. Just to get out of doing one thing led to me missing out on many other things. When I came to that realization, I figured it was a good idea to stop. But the times that I really was sick, and you would hold me tight throughout the day and all the way into the middle of the night, thank you. Sometimes I noticed your tears but didn’t understand why but from the mind of a 50-year-old mother – I understand now that a mother’s love is unconditional. What greater gift can a mother give to their child.
And by the way, all the artwork in the closets throughout the house, yes, that was me too. That was my get-away space. Sometimes I would be there for what seemed like hours with a flashlight, drawing on the walls to my little heart’s content. But please know that I had no clue it was a bad idea when I started. It wasn’t until later I came to my senses and said to myself, “You know this may not be a good thing to do.”
Just like when I cut my widow’s peak with art scissors to have bangs. I think you were more mortified than me. I actually thought I was kind of cute.
Nevertheless, through all the headaches and aggravation, you’ve stood by my side and continue to do so. I am that creative type that’s whacky enough to try just about anything. Still, thanks to you, I will have a little more sensibility when making decisions when I enter into my adult years.
Thank you, Ma, for giving me unconditional love, and I wish you the best of all birthdays.
Love,
Niecey
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